こうすけ - "Kousuke"
こうすけ
I checked the contents of his backpack one more time before setting it snugly onto his small shoulders. Pencils, all nicely sharpened; pens so new they almost squeaked when you wrote with them; a pure white rubber, yet untouched by the dusty graphite that with constant use would soon cover it. A snack for midmorning in case he got hungry. An obento - a traditional Japanese packed lunch - tied up in a blue cotton handkerchief and tightly knotted. White, soft-soled shoes which would replace his outdoor ones as soon as he stepped inside the school building. Yes, he was ready.
It was Japan, 2005. I was a gaijin - a foreigner - who had married a Japanese man and settled there. Takeo was a good, hardworking businessman who was away much of the time because of his job, but still cared and provided for his family. He had bought us an apartment in Mitaka, Tokyo, and it was there that we had our two children. A six-year-old boy, Kousuke, and a three-year-old girl named Ayumi. I had kept them sheltered under my wing for as long as I could remember, keeping Ayumi completely to myself and only reluctantly letting Kousuke go to morning preschool and kindergarten. But today was April 1st of Kousuke's sixth year - the day he had to start elementary school.
Gripping one little hand in each of mine, the three of us set off to see Kousuke safely to the school gates. I was unusually silent, listening to Ayumi's tottering steps and Kousuke's confident stride on the pavement as we crossed the street in front of our house. The thought that I would one day have to turn my children loose into the world had never struck me so strongly before. I had always viewed it as "one day in the future" - but every day in the future will at some point become "today". I'd just never realized how quickly that day would come.
My daughter's voice broke my reverie. "Nyan-chan!" she cried out, pointing to a small cat purring in a cool spot against the wall of a nearby building.
"Neko da yo, Ayu," Kousuke quickly retorted, correcting his sister's baby-talk grammar. "Neko." I stole a glance at his calm face and the look in his eyes which said he could conquer the world. He obviously wasn't worried about this life-changing institution called "school" - at least not nearly as much as I was.
We reached the school grounds much quicker that I would have liked, yet I somehow managed to cordially greet the teacher who came out to meet us. Kousuke stood frozen, staring with eager eyes at the sign which announced "Dai-Ni Elementary School" and the crowds of children milling around, saying last farewells to parents and quickly attaching themselves to their homeroom teachers. It was a good few seconds before I could manage to get his attention.
"Kousuke, this is your homeroom teacher, Yamada-san," I said, motioning to the teacher who had introduced herself to me. "She's going to take you to your classroom now."
Kousuke nodded, and it was then that I saw the first hint of anxiety come into his eyes. I immediately wanted to grab him, hold him close to me, run away with him somewhere and tell him it would all be okay - but instead, I bent down and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Ganbatte ne," I said with a brave smile. "Do your best." And with that, I released him into the throng of schoolchildren under the sure guidance of his teacher.
As I resigned myself to go, Ayumi made a quick tug on my skirt. "Look Mommy, brother's got a friend!"
I turned quickly to see Kousuke standing beside another boy while they waited in line to enter the building, both of them grinning at each other ear to ear. A friend. Yes, my little boy had made a friend, and I realized then that I wouldn't be the only one he'd play with, laugh with, and come crying to. There would be others, all along his journey of life, who would be just as important to him as I was. It saddened me for a moment - but then I turned and left the school gates, Ayumi in hand, knowing that there would be someone to look after him until I returned to bring him home that afternoon.
It was Japan, 2005. I was a gaijin - a foreigner - who had married a Japanese man and settled there. Takeo was a good, hardworking businessman who was away much of the time because of his job, but still cared and provided for his family. He had bought us an apartment in Mitaka, Tokyo, and it was there that we had our two children. A six-year-old boy, Kousuke, and a three-year-old girl named Ayumi. I had kept them sheltered under my wing for as long as I could remember, keeping Ayumi completely to myself and only reluctantly letting Kousuke go to morning preschool and kindergarten. But today was April 1st of Kousuke's sixth year - the day he had to start elementary school.
Gripping one little hand in each of mine, the three of us set off to see Kousuke safely to the school gates. I was unusually silent, listening to Ayumi's tottering steps and Kousuke's confident stride on the pavement as we crossed the street in front of our house. The thought that I would one day have to turn my children loose into the world had never struck me so strongly before. I had always viewed it as "one day in the future" - but every day in the future will at some point become "today". I'd just never realized how quickly that day would come.
My daughter's voice broke my reverie. "Nyan-chan!" she cried out, pointing to a small cat purring in a cool spot against the wall of a nearby building.
"Neko da yo, Ayu," Kousuke quickly retorted, correcting his sister's baby-talk grammar. "Neko." I stole a glance at his calm face and the look in his eyes which said he could conquer the world. He obviously wasn't worried about this life-changing institution called "school" - at least not nearly as much as I was.
We reached the school grounds much quicker that I would have liked, yet I somehow managed to cordially greet the teacher who came out to meet us. Kousuke stood frozen, staring with eager eyes at the sign which announced "Dai-Ni Elementary School" and the crowds of children milling around, saying last farewells to parents and quickly attaching themselves to their homeroom teachers. It was a good few seconds before I could manage to get his attention.
"Kousuke, this is your homeroom teacher, Yamada-san," I said, motioning to the teacher who had introduced herself to me. "She's going to take you to your classroom now."
Kousuke nodded, and it was then that I saw the first hint of anxiety come into his eyes. I immediately wanted to grab him, hold him close to me, run away with him somewhere and tell him it would all be okay - but instead, I bent down and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Ganbatte ne," I said with a brave smile. "Do your best." And with that, I released him into the throng of schoolchildren under the sure guidance of his teacher.
As I resigned myself to go, Ayumi made a quick tug on my skirt. "Look Mommy, brother's got a friend!"
I turned quickly to see Kousuke standing beside another boy while they waited in line to enter the building, both of them grinning at each other ear to ear. A friend. Yes, my little boy had made a friend, and I realized then that I wouldn't be the only one he'd play with, laugh with, and come crying to. There would be others, all along his journey of life, who would be just as important to him as I was. It saddened me for a moment - but then I turned and left the school gates, Ayumi in hand, knowing that there would be someone to look after him until I returned to bring him home that afternoon.
© 2008 Julia G.
* That was the result of a writing practice we had to do for English - I've decided to post all the story bits and writing pieces that I come up with on this site for the general enjoyment (and amusement) of others. The good thing about this one was that I actually finished it.
Julia
ジュリア
茱理亜
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