A Discourse on White Day

In Japan, after items from New Year’s are cleared away, Valentine’s Day decorations take their place. Hearts and red and chocolates abound. However... it comes with a twist. Ladies, put aside your wishes for a bouquet of red roses or a fancy dinner out. Here, Valentine’s Day is for the gentlemen. 

One article dates the unique twist on Valentine’s Day back to the 1950s. It was considered improper for a woman to confess her feelings to a man first. Thus, when Valentine’s Day was imported from the United States, it became an acceptable opportunity for that. (A bit like the Leap Day proposal tradition in Ireland, perhaps?)

Nowadays, ladies tend to buy chocolate for male colleagues and friends, as well as painstakingly making beautiful chocolates, truffles or likewise for their one true love - whether already in a relationship, or by means of confessing their love.

“What about something for the ladies?” you may ask. Well, men are given a day on which they should reciprocate any gifts received. This falls on March 14th, a month after Valentine’s, and is called White Day. 

Why white was chosen as a colour, I am still unsure. But true to colour, the theme for this holiday is anything white. White chocolates. Butter cookies. Lemon tea in white boxes. Flowers and relaxation items such as bath salts are also common. 

My husband, being a romantic and a gift-giver, treated me to two White Day presents this year.

The first, a White Day gift package from one of my favourite stores. It featured tea with a heart shaped lemon piece, a silver teaspoon, and a handkerchief. 

The second, since he had noticed how tired I was recently, an essential oil massage treatment. What a man!

Grand Raffine in Matsuzakaya department store, Sakae

I enjoyed both of these gifts tremendously, and felt so much love from my husband with them. However, it did get me thinking about the whole Valentine’s/White Day custom.

I want to believe women give chocolates simply because they love their partner, and men likewise out of love and gratitude. However, I feel like it’s easy to let ulterior motives or obligation slip in to this gift-giving practice. Such as:

• “I hope when he receives this chocolate, he’ll want to go out with me.”
• “She gave me a nice Valentine’s gift, I need to give her something back.”
• “He’s probably expecting something, and it should probably be homemade... I guess I should make the effort.”
• “If I get her something nice for White Day, that should make her feel appreciated.”

Christmas can be the same, I feel. We let social customs become the norm and lose the true meaning behind them: thankfulness, love and the joy of giving. 

For me, it always helps to go back to the ultimate reason. Why do we do all of this?

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”

John 13:34

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

Romans 12:10

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

James 1:17

We give because we were first given to. We love because we were first loved. There isn’t any pressure, obligation or fear in this. There is simply joy, thankfulness and an earnest desire to give to the other. 

So whether you are an employee giving your best efforts to your boss, a mother giving your time to your children, or a husband giving love to your wife, remember that you have first been given to. You have first been loved. And let your giving flow out of that well of love in your heart. 

It’s time to make a White Day gift in return for my husband; not because of pressure or social obligation, but simply because of love. 

Lunch together after my massage session. Happy White Day, babe.